Where can i found peace ?

There is a time where you don't wanna see anyone for a day to refresh your mind ..

To open your mind how big and worthy this world to you.. 

To make you realize there are so many people still need you there than here..

You jail yourself for too long. You closed them. 

But why? Even i've closed them so hard there will always a small hole that still can remind you from the past and your pain ?

Where can i get my own happiness just for a day ? 

A peace. 

You'll think twice or more when you decided to leave 2 valuable person for you..

But you'll only think once to punch them in the face when they disappointed you..

In the other hand, she knew how it feels.. How it feels to see your boyfriend are closer to your bestfriend than you.. How it feels when you saw your boyfriend talk so many things to your girlfriend than you.. How it feels when your boyfriend feels comfortable beside your bestfriend than you.. How your bestfriend better than you.

But now.. You seems like you don't care .. I do looks like a straight and innocent girl who'll be okay when your boyfriend talk a lot to other girls than you..

But deep inside . I wasn't. 

But who knows ? And who will know? 

No one. Because no one will understand until they're in your position.

Life is complicated.

Such a fool

The pain that your closest people gave you is much different with the pain your "friend" gave..

Even you dip it into a world of colours and sweetness..

Still.. It taste bitter.. 

You don't need any revenge to make it fade away ..

But you only needed peace and your old soul back..

Can you heal it?

They say " don't let bitterness steal your happiness."

But yeah who knows..

Even the person you loved the most can hurt you..

You can't scream or shout for the pain

They say " don't let pain make you hate."

But no one can cure the deepest pain.. Even chocolate has no power.

I do miss him but.. Idk

Yap it's been a week i didn't meet him in this holiday ..

I went to my hometown, medan for a week also..

But luckily he went there too ..

Eventhough it's just 2 days and i just met him for a day but it's enough ..

Miss him so mich .. Luckily i still could call him and talked for maybe 15 minutes? Idk i forgot haha

But.. Am i too selfish or what ?

Yes i'm happy to meet him but when i knew that many of his friends will also come.. I just feel i wanna kill myself that time..

I can't talk to him much yeah maybe because he also miss his friends and talked a lot..

Idk why but i really hoped that my parent will come that time and ask me for shopping lolol

I didn't enjoy that time much.. 

Maybe he's true.. "We're not here for cuddling or having a date" just walk and talk.. 

Ok.

Men thoughts are ll the same.

Hahahahahaha. That's funny

;)

Maybe the one who can understand your position and feelings is just your own family. All they could think about me was just "jealousy". No others. Thanks mother nature.

Do you ever knew?

You said that i've never told you everything about my problem i've hidden inside..

You know why?

Just like our conversation tonight..

You're really not a person that i've always imagined everytime..

A full or caring and understood person..

I thought you're gonna understand what i've told you just now.. But it's really out of my mind..

You don't even realized what you've done .. Yes you've said sorry..

But i knew you didn't think you've made any mistakes..

Of course because you're the Mr. Right..

You know why i believe another person sooner than you?

Yeah that's true because you keep lying to me..

You told me " you can go take a picture with another guy and have a chat with them.. It won't be any problem for me.. As long as you didn't do anything wrong"

That's what my brother's girlfie when he slept in a same bed with another boy friend of hers..

You're just the same position as her..

Man you're too blind for this..

It's better for bot to tell anybody about this.. Cause if you knew it..

Nothing's change on you..

Even if i told you eveything.. Every whole things i've been through..

You won't understand.. No one.

Too tired to be this sensitive..

Realizing everything bad and good about everyone's near you..

Maybe this is the best way for me to stop caring another..

By hide it as much as i can..

I don't how many ways i should try to explain it to you..

You're too smart for this..

I'm the dumbest.. 

You're the best, boy.. Just the best.