just as usual.. everyday..everytime..everyminute..everysecond..
u still didn't care what had happened around you..including me
well.. i think that i'm not as important as before...
can't think clearly.. and i don't know why..
that's the first thought in my mind
but in the other side..
i'm not as jealous as usual.. i'm not as angry as usual..
i don't know if it's because i'm focusing on my novel or something else
i don't know..
or....
i'm stop loving you?
oh god please don't stop my feelings to him.. it's been a year..
a year i will never forget..
but how about now?
i feels that i'm not too care about you everyday as before..
why? even it's my own feelings but i still can't find the reason..
i hope it's just a dream or something else that doesn't exist
there are a few reasons why i stop keeping jealous at you
first , because i keep focusing on my novel
second , because i'm not in a good mood
third , because i'm tired
fourth , because i'm focusing on school tests
or..
fifth , i don't love you anymore..
i swear i hate this situation
it confused me much!!
when just now i heard that you're writing other girl's name..
i wasn't that angry and keep reading my novel well
you know if i was angry i will stop reading and keep starring at you till you explain it to me
but now?
i didn't care anything around me about you anymore..
gosh! this is bad news !!
i want a longlast relationship not a boring things like this..
shit i can't stop thinking anything worse than this
and this situation remembered me to those words you ever said to me
the day when it's our anniversary..
i know that you're trying to hold my hand but i keep away from you that night..
you know that i'm w stupid girl who's scared to a boy like you..
i didn't said that i don't believe you but..
we're still young and i'm the girl
so i'm the one who must keep my body 'good' and 'clean'
yeah you're a normal boy who wanted to touch your girlfriend
but i'm not a girl like that..
so please appreciate every little thing i've said to you yesterday..
i wanted a romantic relationship too but for me..
it wasn't the best way to reach it
you know what i mean right?
just let it flow and if you're patient enough and love me..
wait till i've said i'm ready..
then i will give all of my soul to you.. and so do you
then i'll promise that i won't stay away from you and will be yours.. forever
but i think that it wasn't the best time..
i still make sure my heart for you
if you keep being like this everyday to me in class or whatever
i'm sure enough i'll forget you as soon as possible..
so you don't need to wait me or think that i'll be yours
because i'm a human being who needs that one person who'll always care to me
love me.. and stand beside me everytime i need him..
not the one who always hurts me.. make me cry.. or everything sad
i want happiness.. not sadness
not sadness from the one i loved
hope you realize it , boy
