What will happen next?

It hurts, like a lot

I can't cry

I've spent too much tear

I've been thinking to stop

But yet, my heart says no

My brain says "stop it, you idiot"

"Nobody will care about you unless they knows you well"

You ain't an extrovert

Your mind is killing you slowly

Without anyone notice, your tears fell down like pouring rains

But yet, you still admit you're fine

You said "tell them, tell them what's wrong,maybe they'll help"

But my heart said "no, they won't. They'll think you're disgusting. Full of bad thoughts. Troubled"

Yeap, TROUBLED

That's what i've been thinking about myself

Maybe it's been more than 2 months that we didn't skype-ing on weekends

Is it true that we have nothing to talk about?

Or we're just busy by ourselves?

I've been waiting for him to ask me to, but there is no sign at all

Yep maybe this is the clue.. To the end.

I have sworn to myself not to make the same mistakes

Not to embarass myself

I'm not going to show how i care about you anymore

And yes i've promised to myself not to do stupid things

My day just full of regrets

God i do really wanted to move out 

Forget every little things about them

Forget their faces their sounds their laughs

I don't want to meet them both not for a while but maybe forever

Why can't i forget that feelings?

Why can't i stop hating my best friend?

My can't my feelings get better everytime i heard them talk?

Why can't you change my parents thoughts to move me out of this school?

I bet he didn't love me as much as before 

That kind of feelings came again..

You knew i was hurted but you still keep up with your other stuff

What would i way to you then to make you understand?

What a fool.

Too hard to forget

Am i wrong to always be mad whenever i saw you text her ? 

Why can't i trust you ?

Why can't i erase that past? 

Am i wrong to always be mad whenever i saw uou talk to her or called her name?

How can they pretend like nothing ever happened ? 

Dis they really forget it that easy?

Whenever you asked me "it's okay right? I thought that you're mad or surprised" 

My mouth just can't rejected it at ease

I can't say " yeah of course it's okay i'm fine"

I do have a short memory but why can't i forget that past? 

Forever? 

My head is killing me

So now.. There is nobody i can trusted to.

No one i can tell about my feelings to.

Dropping my tears infront of or holding hands

Luckily i didn't trust her that well

Maybe God has shown me the truth.

The truth that you can't trust anyone except you.

I've known that you must have talked about me with her but that's not my business

I'm quiet and i have many reason for that

I keep on my secrets and i won't tell you , ever.

You've felt how to be betrayed but you just think about yourself not others.

Hope i won't my whole teenager life with you ..

Hope i'll find somone much better than you and not as naive as you

That's why i want to have an older boyfriend and not in the same school or even class with me

So that he will listen to me well and not causing any pain.

Why do i have to drop my tears everyday?

Why do i cry for the same person?

Because i've never told them. 

Overthinked.

I just want to start my new life. Not being hurted everyday.