honestly..
he has never said anything bad to me or mad at me..
he has never shown his anger.. maybe he ever but i've never realized it
how stupid am i?
am i too bad? not sensitive? or what?
it's been 3 or 4 days since that problems began
the first fuckin problem is when i was invited to my friend's birthday party but he's also invited to go there
semi formal actually
then the problem began when my friend asked me to join a game for her
and that game is fuckin horrible
it's about the girls eyes closed but they have to make up a boy infront of her
and i have no idea who's standing infront of me that time.. i've never seen him before
someone i never met
of course if your eyes was closed you have to touch their face right?
so that you will know where the hell his cheek or his lips is
the worst is i have to put on lipstick on his lips damn
i've imagined how angry my bf is..
of course i'll reject this game if i've known the rules but i have no idea about this..
and.. as i thought.. he's mad.. but he didn't want to show it
he stays calm and pretend that there is nothing happened just now
yeah.. that's how he hide it
right after the party ended.. i call him and say a hundred of sorry..
but what did he say?
"what are you doing? you don't need to apologize.. there's nothing wrong.. what happened to you?"
damn you.. i know you're angry and you still going to act infront of me. wth
then i just said.. okay then.. hope you're not angry.. i really really have no idea about that game
i'm sorry if i've made a mistake..
okay. the problem solved.
what do you think? is it my fault? or.. i'm too bad to let him burried that hurts? or.. i don't know anymore.
really make me dizzy
then yesterday.. we have a small fight..
i have a small drama at my school and i'll show it on wednesday..
of course i need to practice it a lot right?
before that day i've told him everything about my problems during this drama rahersal
because i have a really bad teammates..
they have no responbilities and just stay calm and have no effort to make this drama looks good or whatever
of course i feel distressed.. and i told him everything about this problems till i cry..
then he said that i have to go to talk to my group to make this serious so that i can stop thinking about the negative effect of this fuckin drama
then right after i told him..
he ask me "can i go to your home too?"
i said " what for? you said that we must practice seriously right?"
"no.. i mean i just wanna watch you all and i can play myself if you all start practicing"
"no. you can't go. you'll destroy it. you know andres and yos can't be serious if they saw you playing alone. of course they'll join you and everybody knows it"
"but i've promised that i won't ask them to play with me till you all have finished"
"nah ! i can't let you go. please.. you have to understand this situation. i have to control my group"
"but.. fine then ! i won't go. just let any boy to go to your home so that you'll be happy . you have never wanted me to be there right? yes. i can understand that"
look? argh! this really stressed me.
i just have that 2 days till the rahersal and 5 more days till that my show have to begin.
whats more?? too many problems this month
fuckin problems. shits
please don't give any problem again to me.. really hate this month i swear
if you have any problems with me or if i have any fault to you
please.. just tell me..
i'll try to fix it..
i don't wanted you to get hurt of anything else..
i don't want our relationship ends just because this ridicolous problems.
hope you'll understand
and i'm really really sorry to make you sad